New Year, New Struggles, New Triumphs

Hey everyone,
So I'm in a rather melancholy mood right now. But I think it's okay, I'll survive till my mood swings again.

I figured out what my theme for new years is going to be: Love. Because of issues in the past, honestly loving someone without fear of reprisal or betrayal is something I still have yet to completely achieve. But I'm getting there :) God has led me through some incredibly tough times, and shown me a lot of things that have helped me grow this year. I think the biggest thing He has shown me is that I need to learn to cultivate and grow that love, for Him, for my family, for everyone in my life, even for myself. He needs to become first in my life, the one I give all of my love to, wholly and completely. Once I learn to do that, He will show me how to be able to love others completely and openly, without fear or expectation of return, the way it should be. Lastly, but I don't think least importantly, He is going to teach me how to love myself, not in the selfish, self-deserving way the world pushes now, but in the way of respecting myself and my life as a gift from Him, not something to be abused and destroyed for my pleasure.

I'd like to thank all of you who have read this blog even once since I started it in May as an experiment to see how many viewers I could get in a month. It has been a great tool to continue flexing my verbal creativity so it does not atrophy. It has also been a source of encouragement just knowing there are people who read and who just might be able to empathize with my worldview and ideas. We are not alone in our struggles :)
Thank you all again and I hope this new year brings new love, joy, peace, and fulfillment to your lives.
Now, LET'S PARTY!!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Questioning

Two way street.
Traffic comes from both directions. There does not need to be a question of when it will come, how long it will be there or why it has traveled this route. It is simply built knowing it will be used when it is needed. No questions asked.

Realistic expectations.
Without a need for constant affirmation, but instead falling back on resources built up over time to support it when it's sustainance is temporarily suspended.

Unfailing strength.
The ability to stand, unwavering, even in the face of massive adversity. As well as not letting down it's gaurd when left to fend for itself for a period of time.

Sumptuous taste.
Delighting in the experience of indulging in the senses which gratify. Without the need to constantly affirm it's pallet with a non-stop diet of sustaining morsels.

Taking a stand.
Not letting up whatever the circumstance. Not allowing the the subtle or overt advances on it's boundaries to force it to succum. Or the lonely effort without support to lull it into collapse.

Do you really?

Speed Blogging!

I've got 14 minutes before I have to get off and I'm doing three other things online so this is definitely going to be brief!
I realized after I logged on that I haven't been on here for almost two months....I think I've failed as a blogger. Oh well, it's not like it was going to be a career anyway right?....yeah. Things have been crazy and I've been struggling with fears, doubts, and decisions lately. So much pressure coming in from all sides to do anything and everything other than wait for God's specific call to arms for me. I have to admit I had a hard time paying attention to the sermon this morning due to my lack of rest but God kept me attentive enough to get the main point. That's not actually the one I wanted to talk about though. I was listening to a preacher on the radio this morning as I prepared for church and his words really struck a chord with me. In the 10th chapter of Joshua, Israel is fighting a battle with multiple other kingdoms who banded together because they feared what God's army would accomplish if they fought them. When the battle goes against those five kings, they run and hide in a cave where Joshua, after God tells him where they are, traps them in with large stones while he finishes the fighting. After he is done wiping the dirt up with the soldiers of their armies, Joshua returns to the cave and brings out the five kings. What happened is better than the finish of a movie fight 
scene any day. "And it came to pass, when they brought out those kings unto Joshua, that Joshua called for all the men of Israel, and said unto the captains of the men of war which went with him, Come near, put your feet upon the necks of these kings. And they came near, and put their feet upon the necks of them.25And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight".
They literally stepped all over them!!!! That's just so demeaning and shows so much dominance. But what really hit me about this was the part where he says God will do the same to anyone who tries to fight against them. See he wasn't just applying that to those generals and leaders, God had him say that as a message to me! There is no obstacle, no foe, no sin, no ploy of the devil which I cannot, not only defeat, but put into complete submission to God's power in my life. Where is victory without an opponent??? Those things in life that seem to be getting us down are actually the things that can provide us with our greatest triumphs! This was a very uplifting re-revalation for me.

I could go on all day about this and the stuff I got out of my pastor's sermon but I've already taken 11 minutes longer than I had allotted myself so thanks for reading my "brief" post and I'll try to be back on sooner than another month and a half!




INDOMITABLE.

Comin Back Like An Old School Ride

Heyyyyy,
That's how I usually start a letter. When I haven't talked to somebody in a long time it's also followed by exclamation points and possibly a smiley face. Seeing as how it's been over a month since I've posted on here.......HEYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! :D
Okay, lame humor, I know. But seriously, this college thing is insane. I'm joining an honor society to boost my rep for area colleges and trying desperately to keep my grades at the outstanding level I like them to be at. I think I just might lose it without a break sometime soon. Oh well, life goes on for the strong.
I did find this article while browsing for news to share in my business class, I found it intriguing and inspiring.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/story/2011-10-09/detroit-comeback-lions/50713354/1
 I have long believed in Detroit's almost hallowed status in our nation's economic and industrial history and would love to someday help with projects to restore it's formal might and standing. This article emphasizes the resiliency of the city and it's people, an attribute I have long admired. In the article, a business owner ,David Sampson ,based in downtown Detroit is enjoying the signs of a city on the beginning of a rebuild.

"Sampson uses the city's revamped image, exemplified by the Chrysler ad, to show his clients that they, too, can succeed.

The ad, he says, told the world: 'This is who we are. This is what Detroit is, so stop degrading us. We are on a comeback."
Some of the comments on the bottom of the page point out that it will take a lot more than some sports teams winning some games to turn around a deteriorated economy such as Detroit's, they also claim that the auto industry is still not even close to what it once was and is still in danger of further collapse, mostly because of it's reliance on foreign production for the vehicles supposedly produced by our American companies. Both of these are valid points and I'm inclined to agree with the pessimistic attitude with which the comments are inundated. However, I think with renewed persistence and a lot more hard work by an increasing number of people, entrepreneurs, and companies this once great symbol of American industrial might could once again rise above the landscape as a beacon pointing to the success of the American work ethic and ingenuity.
Well now that my tirade is out of my system, I suppose I should get to the homework I originally got on this computer to finish. I will try to post more frequently I promise!
Until next time, stay fresh like the new Chrysler 300.

Greater Is He Who Is In Me.....

It's been almost a month since I last posted!!! I have been slacking woefully in my writings of all kinds lately. That article I want to write on the buildings downtown? Yeah, not even started yet.
 I just realized a day or two ago that having class every day means homework every single night. Not cool. So I'm trying to cure my procrastinating ways but those efforts have yet to come to fruition. School is going okay, my classes are a little sporadic and I can't quite seem to settle in yet but I'm hopeful that unsettled feeling will be gone soon. Spanish class is scary. I'll start talking a little in Spanish once I know more than burrito means "little donkey".
 Just trying to get my school+work life on a stable track before things get out of hand, "sigh" unfortunately sleep lost out to all my other activities since my first day of class and doesn't seem to be close to making a reappearance.
On a random note, little kids are great for therapy. I'm sitting at Starbucks (surprise, I know) and there is a little girl in an almost medieval style dress playing with a flower right outside the window. She's absolutely adorable and it's almost therapeutic just watching her. So innocent and unworried about all of the world's cares. If only we could go back to that place if only for a moment to recapture some of that unspotted  optimism. On a similar vein, one of my friends has been going through a tough time lately and has been a reminder of how God has the only wisdom and strength that really gets us through. All the world's offerings of wisdom and advice only serve as temporary fixes which eventually fade and often make us harder and less open in the end. God's love and support are the only places we can go which will actually make us more open and tender towards those around us, not shut down and bitter.
To speak of a purely physical, unspiritual topic, I begin my workouts again in 3 weeks! I became extremely lazy over the summer and have not attempted a workout since may. I'm so out of shape even thinking of a good ball game makes me sweat. This is going to change. I'm redoing Insanity and soooo ready to be, excuse the term, ripped again. I'm considering chronicling my workout journey online somehow, whether that be on here or starting a different blog I haven't decided yet.
 Well my frapp is almost gone and I will soon be late for choir practice. So a midst crazy earthquakes, horrible hurricanes, and devastating tornadoes, still leaning on God's strength, I bid you adieu.
 Armas

Broke, Not Ghetto

So I broke my nice expensive headphones :( I found them under my bed with one of the phones snapped off at the flexy part. So, being the resourceful upper lower class American I am, I used the all-Amercian cure: Duck tape! Yes, my headphones are now held together by a stylish strip of purple duck tape (don't hate). They certainly don't look as "cool" as before but they still pump the audio equivalent of speed into my ears just as well as before so I'm very accepting of their less than perfect appearance.

Two and a half weeks till classes start. Am I prepared? No. I don't want the non-stop hustle and feeling of impending doom that a work+class+church+homework schedule brings. "sigh", school hasn't even started yet and already I need a vacation.
Well I have a new goal in my pursuit of education. I was reading Proverbs chapter 3 yesterday and it seemed clear and commanding in a way it never has before. All of my knowledge and skills I obtain at the college here or even the highest place of learning in the world, mean nothing if I don't have the wisdom to know how to apply it all in a Godly manner to my life and lifestyle. This being said, my new goal is the "getting of wisdom". God and His Word being the primary sources of wisdom, I will be delving into deep times of meditation with each with increasing (I hope) frequency.
On another subject, I'm considering researching and writing an article about the shameful state of the downtown area in this community. There is currently a building up for sale which has stood for quite a few years and has significant historical value along with it's adjoining structures. Anyway, I'll cut off right there before I start writing the article now. I'll be sure to let everyone know where to find it if I can get it published after it's completion.
To all my faithful readers (all 4 of you) and the numerous visitors to my asinine ramblings, I thank you for your viewing support. Almost 300 views!!!!! If you have a google account just press the follow button to become a recognized supporter of my humble column.
Until next time, best wishes from a nerd living on the edge in the middle of nowhere.

Sampson, I Ain't!......Although I Wouldn't Mind Havin His Whoopin Skills....

So I had an epiphany today while listening to a message in church (Epiphany= #17 on my list of favorite words). I made a humanistic mistake. I've been relying upon my own wisdom, and listening to the world's theories of counseling, and trying to apply it to my own, and other's, lives. Potentially fatal mistake there. God pointed it out to me and, unlike Sampson, I plan on changing that long before it puts my eyes out.  I'm so thankful to Him for once again showing me something I need to change instead of letting me run into a brick wall and ruin myself first. I just had to put that out there, anytime that you think you may be finally "getting it", understanding how it all works, think again. God has so much more going on than you can ever imagine and it's not our job to figure it all out but to follow what it is God says is our small part in His big plan.
On the academic front.....I have signed up for the fall semester!!!! Only 12 credit hours to maintain my 4.0 this semester, hopefully won't be too difficult.
As to the grand 2011 Summer Adventure Series!....it never really happened. A lack of funds and sufficient free time grounded that aircraft until further notice. It's beginning to look like it won't be cleared for takeoff until summer 2012 "sigh". But rest assured, it will takeoff, and it will be noteworthy on it's way ;)
I know I have not posted anything especially noteworthy of late....well I guess I haven't posted much at all, but that should be changing as with the coming school season come an increased amount of wifi time for young students such as myself.
Well geeks and nerdesses, I'm going to retire for the night. Eh, who am I kidding, I'll be up till the sun's checkin me out. So until next time, stay mundiferous.
       Armas

I'm Sick.....And I Like It :]

Audiophilia: audiophile, from Latin audio "I hear" and Greek philos "loving. 
There are millions of us out here suffering from this disease. You can see us on the street, a big pair of headphones ensnaring our ever-craving earlobes. Perpetually connected by some electrical device, big or small, providing us with a constant stream of audio sedation to dull the sharp edge of our monstrous cravings. It focuses our thoughts, soothes our sharp edges, creates ever new ideas and inception of thoughts, and just helps us flow better.


Here are a few signs to help spot an audiophile: An expensive set of headphones always nearby if not on the cranial lobe or around the neck area,an ADD attitude towards almost everything except for when listening to a song at which time the focus becomes laser-y accurate, pictures of headphones on t-shirts, walls, hats, computer screens, or any other customizable surface, a discrete flow that seems to lurk just beneath the exterior always seeming as if it may suddenly come out in the form of song or dance.


If spotted: Do not suddenly disturb the flow of music to the lobes of the ear-type as this can cause sever damage to the audiophile's flow, gently tap or shake the audiophile until their attention is diverted to your being, at which point hopefully your presence will be deemed important enough to take a break from the world of beats to converse with your personage. 
I reiterate: DO NOT! Under any circumstances interrupt an audiophile by suddenly: 1.unplugging the source of sedation 2. violently jarring the audiophile 3. trying to tell him that Lady Gaga is an actual musician not a Vegas backshow entertainer


Thank you for reading my findings on audiophiles. Please, remember to be kind to us, maybe toss us a cd or two once in a while, and maybe, just maybe, someday you too will be fortunate enough to be one of us.


And now, something for any readers with Audiophiliac tendencies: Nuttin But Strings playing their record Thunder. Traditional instruments used in "untraditional" ways, a movement growing in popularity which I fully support.
There is an actual video which they created for this piece which has more dialog in it but I refrained from using it because several people in it forgot it was about music not Michelangelo style art. Anyway, enjoy.

Why Can't Life Be Like A Starbucks?

So I'm sitting in Starbucks right now, assuaging my caffeine addiction headache with a cafe vanilla frap and enjoying the bustle around me. It's 4pm and many people are already getting off work, stopping for an afternoon cup of joe before heading home to the family scene. Others have been in here for even longer than I and are drinking in the atmosphere while enjoying pleasant conversation with a friend. The mood music playing at a relaxed level, the sounds of the different coffee making machines, the friendly yet almost business-like atmosphere, it all blends into a pleasant harmony that soothes and relaxes.

It's almost as if the rest of the world can't touch you, your troubles seem small and petty in the face of your new-found coffee energy, the people around you nodding courteously at your glance, giving you hope that all the people aren't as nasty as the ones you encounter at Wal-Mart, suddenly the world is not as scary as it was when you walked in.

If only the rest of life was like this. People all around you sharing a common interest even among differences of political, philosophical, and religious opinion. That is, however, just a wish, so for now I'll sit and enjoy this place where people are brought together from all walks of life by one common love: coffee.

Okay, so I was Nerfing just now....

Okay to start off, "Nerfing" is the art of nerdy web surfing :) Yes I made it up ;P
But anyways, there's this amazing website www.wimp.com go check it out if you have some free time to kill, you won't regret it I promise! I was checking out random videos on there and happened across this little girl, I don't really like the song as I dislike the lyrics but this girl has amazing talent http://wimp.com/definitiontalent/ so yeah, check it out!
Happy friday the 13th!!!! I will continue my irreverent tirades and amusing link postings upon my return!

When In Despair, A Verse Or Two It Helps To Spew

Folly Of Resignation

I give up, the talent’s just not there

My vocabulary is bereft

And I’ve no adages to spare

I give up, there is no use

When I keep trying to rhyme

Two words like hope and goose

I give up, no really this time I mean it

Don’t tell me that my verse is fine

When you’ve never even seen it

I give up, I’ve no knack for prose

Why last week I attempted a rhyme

I claimed “fraulein” went with “rose”

I give up, I feel I’m just a failure

Seems that poem will never be written

My addition to American ‘litature

Armas

Anybody see my Supernerd jacket?

Where did my verbage go?!? I've had two of my biggest writing  tests this week, including my final, and all of my impressive vocabulary has disappeared! I do not appreciate whatever irony can be found in this situation.

Well in other news; I do believe a failed an Ultimate Geek test. I opted out of signing up for summer courses because I'd rather have an uncluttered schedule and some glorious free time. Does that make me less of a nerd? I feel a little like I'm endangering my identity. Well I suppose renewing my piano lessons and stepping up my writing will redeem my supernerd status......right? Hmm...

So I am seriously considering writing my first real peice of literature, I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to go about it but I think it's going to be some kind of allegorical fiction. It will probably be very short. I want to experiment with using imaginanary characters to tell real life stories and morals. My rudimentary attempts should be very interesting if not downright comical ;-)

I suppose I should return to studying, I've got another final in 40 minutes and I don't want to risk dropping my 4.0 and commiting Nerd-Status suicide. If you have any ideas or opinions on topic or technique for my writing project or know some helpful resources then use your keyboard and get at me!

The World Needs More Dexters.....

So, only seven days left in my academic pursuit for this semester. Muy excited. It's crazy to look around at all the people here in school, listen to their conversation, and realize just how unguided most of the youth in todays world is.
I am one of those who does not know exactly where I am headed with this college path, or where it will take me into a lifetime career. But the majority of the people around me have no goals whatsoever beyond living out another summer by drinking and partying then possibly coming back to slog through another two semesters of school.
It's a little depressing to think of all the brilliant young minds being wasted, I see people with talent all around me; kids in the band who could be musicians, some handing in essays that are almost ready to be published nationally, others handle math so easily it's like their native language and english is their second. And most of these kids have no clue what to do with their talents and no drive or inspiration to find a way to utilize them.
It keeps bringing me back to the realization that God is the only answer in this world and to serve Him with our talents and abilities is the only calling that really satisfies that unrest inside us.
"sigh"  we are a generation of wasted ability, is there going to be any revival of great thoughts, arts, and reasoning? There doesn't appear to be even a glimmer of it.
And that, my friends, is my cheerful thought for the day ;-)
On a happy side note, there was a graduates breakfast this morning and even though I'm not graduating this year they let me eat some food :-D

That awkward moment....

One class down, two to go. A one hour space in between. This is a dilemma that perplexes many students. What to do in that oh so short amount of time? Drive all the way back to the living quarters, only to grab a bite and head back? Study for some test promised in the not so near future? Scrounge a basketball and shoot around for awhile? Or my personal favorite: stand around in random spots looking awkward and confused.
A college student without a destination is a pitiful thing. No class objective, no short term goal, simply an overtaxed brain in repose. An unnatural state for most, while an almost permanent one for others. We stand; glazed over eyes, limp arms, slack face, not quite able to grasp this radical concept of "free time". It would repel most, but for the majority of students, it is a position with which we can empathize. We simply give those poor souls a wide berth as we trudge to our next cube of confinement.
I beleive I may have a solution, if those in authority could accept it. I propose turning one of the cubes of confinement into a den of relaxation. Remember how healthy and happy we were in kindergarden with our many breaks and nap times? Why not return to those joyous times? Bring some of those blessed floor mats into this institution of learning, maybe some cheap pillows, play some Mozart For Babies. I gaurantee there would be better grades, more optomistic attitudes, and a wealth of smiles. But alas, there is none willing to listen to my grand schemes so I will suffer on. If on your journey to your next box of learning you happen to see me standing in your way with some drool coming off my lip, please take pity on this poor college student and point me towards my next class.

My first advance into the technologically advanced ways of the modern nerd.

So....starting a blog is rather intimidating. The trepidation over the scarcity of subject matter.....the anxiety upon the possible lack of popularity among readers.....but I think the greatest fear for some is not the potential for readers to find the blog distasteful, but is instead the fear of not even being known; to be completely anonymous with no viewers, no fellow psyche with which to fraternize, no souls with which to share the inner workings of the mind. So with that cheerful thought in mind, welcome to my blog!!!!

I must admit the setup was a bit daunting and I'm still not sure what some of the options do but I know how to post so I'm up and rolling! So welcome! Welcome welcome welcome welcome to Illy.........my bloooog! Yes that was a reference to a chick flick, and yes, that will happen not infrequently within my musings.

One more side note about me, I DO NOT LIKE GRAMMAR! I also enjoy talking in caps. So, with those two points in mind, my outer manifestations of inner intelligence will quite commonly be ungrammatical, feel free to hate. 

I will leave this beginning of my foray into the world of modern American literature with this thought...GEEK IT REAL!!!!!!!